I apologize in advance for this post’s lack of erudition, gravitas, sobriety, and so on (has anyone seen my thesaurus?). I’ve been rather busy lately, it being the time of year in my corner of the world for spring yard work on top of everything else that Life insists on throwing at me (and pickleball, of course; and perhaps even a bit of writing now and then). Besides, methinks it may be time anyway for a post that’s on the lighter side of all the dark we seem to be into here these days.

My eclectic musical tastes include classic rock, and pop music from other decades as well. Many other people also enjoy that kind of music, and many of them like to relate favorite songs to their own beliefs and life experiences; but they often misinterpret the meanings of their chosen melodies, sometimes rather egregiously. Here are a few examples:

Born in the U.S.A. (Bruce Springsteen): An upbeat patriotic anthem, right? Wrong! It’s actually a critique of the shameful way the country treated its Vietnam War veterans.

Losing My Religion (R.E.M.): An anti-religious song about losing one’s faith in God? Nope. The phrase ‘losing my religion’ is synonymous with losing one’s temper in Southern American slang; so the song is actually about frustration, which was the Southern songwriter’s intent.

Closing Time (Semisonic): Often associated with ‘last call’ and bars closing, this one was actually inspired by the miracle of childbirth.

Imagine (John Lennon): A feel-good peace anthem? Well, not entirely. There are deeper undertones, including ideas that some interpret as communist-inspired and anti-religious. 

Who Let the Dogs Out (Baha Men): A party song that was intended to be a feminist anthem about cat-calling and harassment.

Blackbird (Beatles): Rather than being about birds, it’s actually about the American Civil Rights Movement and drew inspiration from the racial desegregation of the Little Rock school system.

Summer of ’69 (Bryan Adams): Adams was only 10 years old in 1969. The ‘69’ is actually a reference to a certain sexual position, not the year.

Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) (Green Day): A popular choice for a romantic prom song that was really a frustrated vent about a girlfriend moving away to Ecuador.

And there are some misinterpretations that err on an even darker side – which I of course mention here since this is a ‘dark’ blog:

Every Breath You Take (Police): A romantic ballad? Wrong again! It’s really about stalking, obsession, and surveillance. Sting himself called it a very sinister song.

Pumped Up Kicks (Foster the People): A cute and catchy dance tune—that’s actually about a troubled teenager either planning or daydreaming about perpetrating a school shooting.

The One I Love (R.E.M.): Many consider this a love song, but the verse is ‘savagely anti-love, brutal, violent, and awful’, according to the band.

Macarena (Los del Rio): Fun because of its bouncy music and associated dance, but (if you understand Spanish) it’s about a young lady who cheats on her boyfriend with two of his friends while he’s serving in the army. Not cool, Macarena…

Angel (Sarah McLachlan): A soothing, evocative tune that makes you want to donate to your local pet shelter in TV ads. However, the angel in question is actually heroin, or perhaps whatever else someone might use to escape from reality at a low point. The song was inspired by the heroin overdose of a fellow rock musician.

Total Eclipse of the Heart (Bonnie Tyler): A bombastic, emotional power ballad that’s actually a vampire love song. It was written by Jim Steinman (the Meat Loaf collaborator) for his Broadway musical Dance of the Vampires.

Margaritaville (Jimmy Buffett): A classic breezy ‘chill’ tune in which the narrator is constantly blackout drunk, getting tattoos he doesn’t remember getting, and so on, while grappling with who’s responsible for his downfall.

99 Luftballons (Nena): The most danceable anti-war song ever about a nuclear holocaust accidentally caused by numerous balloons being released in a wrong place at a wrong time.

American Pie (Don McLean): A campfire sing-along that references the plane crash that killed early rockers Buddy Holly, Big Bopper, and Ritchie Valens (‘the day the music died’) as part of a reflection on the deteriorating state of society.

Hallelujah (Leonard Cohen): Not a Christmas song, y’all! Despite its title and gorgeous refrain, it was meant to express the composer’s thoughts about the all-too-fleeting joys of life, such as being tied to a chair by a femme fatale, among other things (‘And remember when I moved in you, the holy dove was moving too, and every breath we drew was Hallelujah…’).

How funny, right? But how does all this folderol further slot into the theme of  ‘darkness’ this blog tends to espouse? Well, there’s a 1965 classic rock song by the British band The Kinks that I’ve never seen on a list of misinterpreted songs; and I think that perhaps it should be on such lists.

A Well Respected Man (Kinks): On the surface, it seems to be a simple social commentary-type song featuring a young, rich tosser-slash-prat (in derogatory British slang); and that may be all it really is. But I thought to myself, it sounds like this dude could also be a psychopath. It might just be that I’ve been conditioned to see things in a darker light by reading many of the posts on this blog; but who knows? (The Shadow, maybe?)

Regardless, I decided to express my alternative interpretation of this ostensibly innocent ditty in the form of a piece of ‘sampled’ flash fiction. You can listen to the original song at the link if you like, compare it to my interpretation, and see if you get what I’m talking about. The Kinks – A Well Respected Man (Official Audio)

Without further ado, here’s my (probably warped) take on the song:

A Well-Respected Man

I get up in the morning, go to work at nine, and return home to my parents’ estate at five-thirty, taking the same trains every time. My world is built around punctuality, and it has never yet failed me.

I’m a well-respected man-about-town, doing the best things most conservatively.

My father does the maid when my mother goes to meetings. She stirs her tea with politicians, and passes looks as well as bills to all the suave young men. But I’m good and I’m fine, and I’m oh-so-healthy in my body and my mind. I will soon inherit Father’s loot when he and Mother pass on.

I’m a well-respected man-about-town, doing the best things most discreetly.

I play at stocks and shares and go to the regattas, but I most enjoy working in my back yard. My sweat smells the best, because I’m better than the rest. I adore the girl next door and I’m dying to get at her, but Mother thinks she knows best about the matrimonial state. No matter.

I’m a well-respected man-about-town, doing the best things most secretively.

My yard work is done for now, Mother and Father are no longer with us, and I gave the staff the day off. The girl next door will soon arrive for a party. She doesn’t know that she’ll be the only guest. I know she will be sweet, perhaps the sweetest one ever.

I’m a well-respected man-about-town, filling the best holes most murderously.

~ ~ ~

Well, there you have it. I hope you found this brief interlude of levity amusing. If not – well, I’ll try to do better next time around. 😊