Everyone is welcome. If you dare, enter my cave at your own risk.  I’m happy to have you for dinner.  Perhaps a side dish of boiled worms and roaches are to your liking? Or not; too bad!

May I offer you a beverage to quench your thirst?  I have blood wine, or blood wine, or if you prefer, blood wine.

Sit and stay a while.  Don’t worry: the furniture won’t eat you.  It’s warm, soft, and doesn’t go too far.  I wouldn’t want you to be carried away.

Oh, please, don’t run away.  I thought we could play some games.  Would you like to play a game like water boarding, nut cracking, or something more exciting such as a shocking game of questions and answers?

Another choice is watching a movie.  The Exorcist or The Shining might be to your liking.  We could jump in and be a part of the wonderful scenes.  My friends would love to have extras in these movies.

My cauldron is about to boil over, I’ll be back in a moment.  Please feel free to play with my dragon pup, he’s behind that grey door to your left.  I’m sure he wants company.

 You’ve not moved, what could possibly be the matter?  Perhaps a nice soothing bath will loosen those muscles of yours, yes.  Dinner will be much better this way.

 You know, I had a cousin who enjoyed a warm relaxing bath and came out just fine in time for dinner.  I indulge in blood baths, not the shoot’em up kind though.  I’ll run your bath for you.

I’m back!  Now, where did you go? We were having so much fun.